By Dr James Dobson
First, define the boundaries very clearly in advance. If you haven’t spelled them out, don’t try to enforce them.
Second, once a child clearly understands what’s expected, she can be held accountable for behaving accordingly. This sounds easy, but as every parent knows, it often leads to a contest of wills with the child.
Third, distinguish between wilful defiance and childish irresponsibility. Forgetting, losing, breaking and spilling things are not challenges to adult leadership, and they should be handled gently.
Fourth, reassure and teach as soon as the time of confrontation is over. Use the opportunity to explain lovingly what has just occurred.
Fifth, avoid impossible demands. Be absolutely sure your child is capable of delivering what you require.
And sixth, let love be your guide. A relationship that’s characterised by genuine love and affection is likely to be a healthy one, even though some parental mistakes and errors are inevitable.
From TODAY, Voices – Tuesday, 14-April-2009
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