Friday, August 22, 2008

ENGAGED? GO FOR COUNSELLING


From TODAY, Voices
Tuesday August 19, 2008

By Dr James Dobson

The key to a healthy marriage is to keep your eyes wide open before you wed, and half-closed thereafter.

Part of the problem nowadays is the tendency for young men and women to marry virtual strangers.

A typical couple talks for countless hours before the courtship period and they believe they know each other. But a dating relationship is designed to conceal information, not reveal it. Consequently, the bride and the groom enter into marriage with different opinions on how life will be lived after the wedding and the stage is set for major problems.

For this reason I strongly believe that an engaged couple should participate in at least six to 10 sessions with a competent marriage counsellor in order to identify the assumptions that each partner holds and to work through areas of potential conflict.

Through this process, some couples discover that they have major problems that have not surfaced until then and they agree to either postpone or call off the wedding. Others work through their conflicts and proceed toward marriage with increased confidence.

Premarital counselling is the key. If the tragedy of divorce could be reduced by even 5 per cent, it would certainly be worth the effort.
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