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How does a happy, cooperative 12-year-old boy or girl suddenly turn into a sullen, depressed 13-year-old?There are two powerful forces that overtake our children in the early pubescent years, and account for some of the strange behaviour that drives parents crazy.
The first is social in nature, with incredible pressures being inflicted on adolescents by the peer group. But the second, which I think is more important, is hormonal in nature. We can see the effect of these hormones on the physical body, of course, but something equally dynamic is occurring in the brain.
Human chemistry apparently goes haywire for a few years, affecting mind as well as body. This internal upheaval will motivate a boy or girl to do things that make absolutely no sense to the adults watching anxiously on the sidelines.
There’s a tendency for parents to despair during this period of transition. Everything they’ve tried to teach their sons and daughters seems to have misfired for a couple of years. Self-discipline, cleanliness, respect for authority, the work ethic, even common courtesy may look like lost causes.
But there is good news. Better days are coming — I promise. That’s why, perhaps the best advice I can offer is: Don’t look too quickly for the person your child will become.
From TODAY, Voices - Monday, 26-April-2010
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