Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Be honest with adopted child

By Dr Bill Maier

When is the best time to tell a child that they were adopted? I get asked this question often from adoptive parents, and my answer is always the same: As soon as they’re old enough to understand.

Obviously, it’s important to use age-appropriate language. When the child is two or three, make sure they understand how special they are to you. Say to them: “Mummy and daddy chose you over all the other children in the world.”

When they’re a little older, you might start explaining the difference between a biological and an adoptive parent.

A four-year-old could be told that some kids have two different mums — one who took care of them inside her tummy, and another who took them home from the hospital to love and care for them.

Adoptive kids will find out sooner or later. And if you’ve kept it a secret, they’ll wonder what else you haven’t told them.

So, be as honest as you can from the earliest age.


From TODAY, Voices - Wednesday, 14-July-2010
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