Wednesday, December 17, 2008


From TODAY, Voices

Tuesday December 16, 2008


By Dr Bill Maier


A failure to forgive has ruined more marriages than perhaps any other human frailty.


When we become too proud to let go of a grievance or to accept a sincere apology, we have all but destined our marriage to failure.


The first step in developing a divorce-proof marriage is learning to forgive. Forgiving a spouse doesn’t mean denying that they’ve hurt us in some way. It’s simply acknowledging that we’re all human and we all make mistakes.


It also doesn’t minimise what happened. You’re not saying to your spouse: “What you did isn’t important.”


Any time someone wrongs another person, the offence is important. What you’re saying to them is: “I believe you’re sorry, and I choose to forgive you. Because our marriage is too important for me to do otherwise”.


To extend forgiveness, and to ask forgiveness when we’ve done wrong, is the cornerstone of every successful marriage. 


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