THE BEST YEARS OF MARRIAGE

From TODAY, Voices

Tuesday November 25, 2008

 

By Dr James Dobson

 

Did you know that one of the highest rates of divorce occurs among couples between the ages of 45 and 50, after the kids have left home? The dynamics of that breakup can be tragic.

 

When young couples start out together, they talk endlessly about their goals for a family and for the future. But when babies come along, the emphasis changes. Every resource goes into the parenting responsibility. Mum becomes a full-time chauffeur and a fast food-getter, and Dad’s at his professional peak and he finds it very difficult to squeeze out a spare minute, so the marriage goes into hibernation as their attentions are directed elsewhere.

 

Then suddenly, and with very little warning, the children leave home. Parenting ends with a bang. The house is quiet, and the phone doesn’t ring. The husband and wife sit looking at one another across the breakfast table and realise they hardly know each other. What began as a romantic adventure so many years ago has become a sterile partnership.

 

Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be that way. Couples can keep the flame alive, if they’re only willing to maintain their marriage the way they’ve cared for their kids. Let me put it this way: The best way to prepare for the empty nest is to invest in one another when the nest is still full.