Friday, October 24, 2008

DON’T COMPETE WITH BIOLOGICAL PARENTS


From TODAY, Voices
Wednesday October 22, 2008

By Dr Bill Maier

When it comes to living in a blended family, the key is acceptance and plenty of patience.

Children don’t always accept a step-parent, and they often reject their love and discipline.

Step-parents tend to take this rejection personally and usually work even harder to win the child’s love.

In these situations, it’s important to focus on what the child is going through. Their rejection is really an attempt to hang on to their relationship with their biological mother or father.

They may feel that accepting a new parent is a sign of disloyalty to their biological parent.

The key is to make sure they understand that you are not trying to replace their parent, and that there’s no competition between the two of you.

Give them permission to talk all they want about their “real” mum or dad, and help them to stay in close contact.

Above all, never criticise their biological parent. Love them and give them space, and in time, you’ll be accepted.
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